Blog, Goddess Energy

What’s Standing in the Way of Your Happiness?

Luna, my beloved bulldog shared some beautiful wisdom this morning along our walk. As she pranced around and smiled at everyone we passed, I asked her if she had any advice on happiness for our Bright Suns. She said, “The only thing standing in the way of anyone finding happiness, is themselves!” She said to look around and how could anyone not be happy? We are ALIVE in this beautiful world, sharing an experience.  She reminded me how we have all CHOSEN to be here and knowing that, how could you not honor yourself and choose to be happy?

I find that animals have the best words of wisdom.  They live in the here and now.  We can learn so much from their example.  It’s when us humans look to the past or the future, is when we find our unhappiness, our stress, our anxiety.  Homo Sapiens are the only animals that bring ourselves out of present time, therefore we’re the most unhappy, stressed out animal.

Luna’s words allowed me to reflect on my own journey to happiness.  I wasn’t always happy.  I may have always appeared to be happy on the outside- I’ve been blessed with a warm, friendly demeanor but on the inside was a different story.

I spent the majority of my 20’s and my early 30’s in abusive partnerships.  Romantic and not romantic.  I had no idea who I was.  I was a weak, very passive, doormat.  I allowed everyone to walk all over me.  I was scared to death that if I spoke up, I’d lose the only people in my life.

I recollect my ex husband constantly demeaning me.  Saying repeatedly that I was “ALMOST skinny enough to have sex with”. Telling me that I could never get a job as a private flight attendant because they want young, attractive females (I was 28 years old). Telling me I always spoke before him when we met people and then he’d hush me.  When I had enough strength and courage to leave, I walked away from our very cushy lifestyle with just my car and my then beloved bulldog, Rocco.  I was broken, beat up, no self-worth and was absolutely not happy.

I remember being very judgmental of people who “claimed” they were happy.  I’d say in my head, “ya, right-that’s a load of crap.” The truth is, I don’t believe I had ever known anyone who was truly happy.  I didn’t even know how to identify it.  I knew I was able to “project” happiness out but I was incapable of “feeling it” within.

As I shed away most of my material and physical possessions, I was able to be completely raw with myself and start to learn who I really was.  I shed my husband and my best friend for over 30 years within a couple of years of each other.  As I spent more time with myself, I started to realize how toxic my closest relationships have always been.  These relationships were such energy suckers and distractions that I had literally never had the energy to really look at myself.

What I realized when I did was I was pretty f’n great!  I’m smart, funny, beautiful, successful, nurturing, loving and so wise!  No one had ever told me I was any of these and you know what?  They didn’t need to because I started to know that I am all of these and so much more!  Once I felt all of these amazing qualities and started to wear them on the inside as well as the outside, I realized I had a pep in my step! Then just one day, while out on a walk-I was overwhelmed with SO.MUCH.HAPPINESS! It didn’t come from anyone but ME! I had created it!

It was within that moment, about 8 years ago when my lightbulb went off and I KNEW I was happy! It wasn’t a “made up” energy-it really existed! Now everyday, I wake up- no matter what I have going on in my life and I’m so grateful and I choose happiness each and every day because you know what?  No one else is going to create it for me.  It’s not something you wear on the outside of you like a coat, it comes from within and then emanates outward into the outer most layer of our aura so everyone can “read” it in your space-That’s another Luna wisdom.

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